Psalm 9:9

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.

No one knew I was autistic. Just like everyone else, I was directed to a round hole. As I said before, I was young when I began working hard to blend in. From what I understand, autistic people tend to be driven to do what is right. In all things (at least in our mind), there is a right way and a wrong way. We have a strong sense of justice. We strive to do what is right, unless it doesn’t make sense. That’s right! If a rule is stupid in our minds, it’s difficult to not simply overlook it. So, for the most part, I have always been a rule follower. The round hole was the way to fit in. I, along with many well meaning people persisted to pound this square peg (myself) into a round hole most of my life.

As a result of this persistent “pounding”, everyday life felt very hostile. It’s not like I was beaten or abused. But, if for example, I were to walk around everyday wearing shoes that were too small, on the wrong feet, my feet would begin to feel abused.

The world around me was very confusing. I often misunderstood people and people often misunderstood me. It was like everyone spoke a different language than myself.

This verse, resonates deep in my soul. When I felt disconnected from the world around me, Yahweh was my refuge.

It’s true, I wasn’t truly oppressed. I grew up in a free country, enjoying many comforts that most of the world would love to taste. But, like everyone else in creation, I was made for connection. And every single time I call on His name, He is there. My soul connects deeply to Him alone.

I have, like everyone, experienced trials and challenges. This world is full of them. But He has been my stronghold through every single difficulty.

In this section of my blog, I will discuss both how God has shaped my life and how my autism shapes my relationship with Him.

Psalm 34:8

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.